A New Home, A Burpee, And A Breakdown in an Applebees...

Oh hello there...

Right now I'm sitting in a bus that has a bomb strapped to it and will kill us all if we slow down... Oh wait.. that was Speed with Keanu Reeves, some times I get my life mixed up with his... Anyway, I am actually sitting in my basement with the sunset streaming through my bedroom window. It's quite nice. You should join me except by the time you read this, I will be asleep and if you know me at all.. I don't fool around when it comes to sleep.

A lot has been going on lately and I thought I would start at the top and work my way down to the bottom because that seems to parallel the turn of events that have taken place. I think there comes a time in everyones life, even Keanu's, where you may feel complacent, stuck, between a rock and a hard place, etc. and I have felt this way before, but never to this extent. I woke up one morning and said to myself, "I'm hungry.." and then I said to myself, "I need to change." The only problem is that no one told me that change kinda sucks. I went about my day and realized it was time for me to move on.

Sometimes I feel like I'm looked at like I shanked a baby, being 28 and single in a Christian community. Hide yo kids hide yo wife! OR I am dying of a wicked flesh eating disease..

Stranger: "So, you married?"

Me: "No... but..."

Stranger: Pity head tilt...

I understand where they are coming from, they just want me to be happy, but the pity-head-tilt doesn't make me happy. Therefore, I decided to buy a house, (I know sometimes, I just work in extremes I can't help it..) only that has turned out to be incredibly overwhelming, which doesn't make me happy. It only made me realize how poor I am and then that made me want to quit my job... Are you seeing the downward spiral?

In the middle of it all I decided to join the CrossFit Games. I'm the "fittest on earth," right? Wrong. The first challenge was as many Burpees as possible in 7 minutes. If you thought to yourself, "Easy..." I may have to open hand slap you in the face because it ain't, y'all. (Sometimes I slip into a southern/country accent to make a not-so-funny statement, funny..) I ended up doing 70 burpees in 7 minutes, which isn't that great.. I was hoping for more, but I have 5 more challenges, every Friday, to train for so, I was trying not to stress out about it.

But I did.

Then I found myself in an Applebees eating my uschz (usual) Fiesta Lime Chicken and I look around to find that I may have stepped into a Sizzler without knowing it. Have you been in an Applebees lately? Seriously, it's like stepping into a rest home. And then I broke down.

It's always the weirdest things that set off a breakdown or maybe I need professional help, the jury's still out on that, but I saw all those oldies and I saw my life flash before my eyes and it was boring and black and white. There wasn't anything Fiesta Lime about it, STILL. Even after I had committed myself to changing and moving onward and upward, I found myself lower than I ever have been. Eating alone, in an Applebees, with people who had lived there lives. blah blah blah..

This is real life people. You may not find yourself in the place where you thought you'd be in life. Or maybe you are beyond where you thought you'd be and I am happy for you.. really... I just don't know how to express that on my face yet.. I'm working on it. I am also working on being happy with any situation I find myself. I am usually pretty good at this, but when it comes to life changes, I tend to be chronically grouchy.

Needless to say, I haven't gone into an Applebees for awhile now and it is probably all for the best, more Fiesta Lime Chicken for the rest of the world! Breakdowns are good for the soul. They are wake-up calls that punch you right in the throat and now I am ready to make some pretty big changes this year. Now I have to go do a push-up or something so, I don't look like a fool again this Friday... I'm sure Keanu is doing them right now, too.